My posts are generally in chronological order, but this time frame was skipped over when I did my TX post, so I could give it the full undivided attention it deserves. Back in January, I traveled to Israel to visit my dear great Aunt Aura. Great as in one of my most favorite people in the whole wide world and also great in that she was my Grandmother’s sister. My amazing cousin Teddy (Aunt Aura’s daughter), without hesitation, added me to her already planned trip when I reached out to tell her I would like to go. For the first time I felt an urgency to go, like it was finally the right time.

I had been home a short 8 weeks when I got the call that my Aunt Aura passed away, one week shy of her 92nd birthday. As began this post, her daughters Jane and Teddy were sitting shiva for her at her home in Kibbutz Kabri in northern Israel, where she’s lived since 1970. Indulge me while I tell you a little about her. For those unfamiliar, the word shiva is taken from the word sheva, which means seven, and signifies the seven days of mourning., when family members (typically spouse, parent, child, and/or sibling) sit shiva as a time to gather to grieve, and for spiritual and emotional support and healing.

Backing up with a little background – I am not a practicing Jew. According to Jewish tradition, however, I can be considered a Jew, as Jewish lineage descends through the mother. My maternal grandmother was Jewish, therefore my mother is Jewish, therefore I am Jewish, therefore my children are Jewish. Interestingly, my granddaughters can be considered Jewish since their mother is, however if my son ever has children, his won’t be, because he isn’t a practicing Jew, unless he marries a Jewish woman. That’s how it works. My grandmother Harriet broke the rules and married a non-Jew. Back in those days that was a HUGE big deal and some of her family “tore their collars” at her, which basically meant she was “dead to them” since that is one if the rituals some Jews practice when someone dies. Please keep in mind this is a very simplified explanation. It still is a big deal for Jews (especially religious Jews) to marry non-Jews, but generally people aren’t disowned anymore, unless they are very religious, like the Hasidim.

As time passed, my grandmothers family relaxed a bit. My mother was born and grew up very close to her mothers famiy, especially her Nana Mollie, Aunt Aura, and Uncle Teddy. When I was a small child, my best memory of Aunt Aura before they moved was going to the beach one day. My mother, brother, and cousins Jane and Teddy, all piled into Aunt Aura’s car (which was a VW Beatle) and off we went, I believe to Coney Island, although I’m not sure of that. I do remember it being a beautiful sunny day and playing in the sand. It had to be the summer of 1969, I was 4 years old. The following year Aunt Aura and Uncle Arnold, along with their children Lisa, Jane, and Teddy, moved to Israel. They made that decision after attending a seminar given by an organization that was convincing Jews to move to and repopulate Israel. My aunt and uncle were drawn to the idea of a much simpler life living on a kibbutz. They sold everything they owned, their house in Poughkeepsie NY, their cars, furniture, and all possessions; packed all their clothes and smaller personal belongings into suitcases, and away they went to become founding members of Kibbutz Kabri. Their stateside family was not very happy about all the distance that would be between them. Keep in mind, this was back in the days of very expensive overseas phone calls, so most communication was through writing letters through the mail.

When they first arrived, they stayed in an absorption center for several months, learning the language and customs of their new country. While they missed their family and “things” from former home, they made new friends while getting acclimated to their new homeland.

A kibbutz, at least back then, was true communal (a.k.a. socialist) living. My cousins, who were 4, 5, and 13 at the time, lived in children’s houses, not with their parents. My aunt and uncle were assigned a small two bedroom, two bath apartment on the second floor of a 4-apartment cement building. All adults were given jobs, most of which were not at all related to their “previous life” careers. My Uncle, for example, was a sought-after Librarian (I was well into adulthood before I learned that was a thing) and he was assigned to work in the kitchen, where eventually he officially trained to be a chef and has a published cookbook. All meals were eaten in the dining hall, children went to school and visited their parents after eating dinner with them. Each family was given a stipend, everyone the same amount. Everyone was equal. My cousin Teddy, back in January, told me the story of how her paternal grandmother wanted to send her son (Teddy’s father, my Uncle Arnold) a piano for his birthday one year; it was one thing he missed very much from the states. There was a huge hullabaloo on the kibbutz about it and a vote had to be taken as to whether they would allow it or not. My uncle did get his piano, but it was a rare exception to the “everyone is equal” rule.

They would come to the states to visit, after going through an application process, and the kibbutz would pay their tickets. This was mostly every 3 to 5 years, unless there was a compelling reason more often, like an illness or death of a close family member. Eventually, they did visit more often, when the rules were loosened some. I remember those visits fondly. I remember their laughter and their stories of their lives in the exotic faraway land. Other than their visits, what I remember most was my aunt becoming my first and best pen pal. She would write to me, and I would reply, probably once a month or so, for the longest time. I would get so excited to see the blue envelope on the table when I’d get home from school. Later, after an in-person visit, my cousin Jane and I also became pen pals.

During their visit in (I believe) 1978, my aunt asked me to visit Israel for the first time. She continued to ask me periodically until I finally arrived at her door January 22, 2023. I always had a reason (read: excuse) for not going sooner. I was afraid to go after seeing and hearing news of bombings, I didn’t have the money, it was so far away, timing was not right, I didn’t speak the language – all kinds of reasons – but finally last September, while in Scotland actually, I finally decided it was time. I reached out to Teddy and Jane to see if either of them had plans to go, as I was not comfortable going by myself. Jane was going in December for 2 weeks, and Teddy was going in January for a week. Since December is when I visit my parents, I asked Teddy would she mind if I tagged along on her trip? She was so excited I finally decided to go, she immediately added me to her reservation from JFK to TLV, ensuring we were on the same flight and sitting next to one another. The following day, I booked my ticket from San Antonio to JFK, where we would meet before getting on our flight to TelAviv.

It was a bit strange when I was the only one packing for the trip. I was sad Bill wasn’t going with me, but at a cost of nearly $1800, we decided only I would go. My only purpose for the visit was to spend time with Aunt Aura, although Teddy had planned one full day away to spend in Jerusalem. She had also mentioned a few local places she wanted to take me.

Bill dropped me off at SAT (San Antonio) airport at about 12:30pm and I began my journey. I had about an hour and a half, so after getting through security and finding my gate, I went on the hunt for a book. I couldn’t decide on one, so I purchased two.

The flight to JFK was full. I started one of my books and chatted with my seat mate. After landing, I had to find my way from terminal 4 to terminal 5 to catch up with Teddy, who had arrived from ATL about half an hour before me. It had been many many years since I had been in JFK and it took me a few minutes to get my bearings, but once I did it was a quick train ride. We found each other quickly and then got some dinner while waiting for our 11:45pm departure.

The non-stop flight to TelAviv was a long one, just under 11 hours. What was interesting was everything said by flight attendants over the loudspeaker on the flight was said in English and Hebrew. There were Kosher meals offered for the many Orthodox Jews, which I had never seen before. We both tried to get some sleep, Teddy was more successful than I was. We both watched movies and took a few walks, especially to the back of the plane where they kept the snacks.

Once we landed in Ben Gurion, at about 5pm local time, we had to get into separate lines for customs and immigration, since Teddy had to use her Israeli passport to enter Israel. We also picked up her checked bag at the carousel. The car rental place was our next stop and we were finally on our way! The drive to Kabri was about an hour and a half. It was dark and all the inside lights in Aunt Aura’s apartment were out when we arrived. She was already asleep for the night.

Remember earlier I told you that Aunt Aura and Uncle Arnold were assigned a 2 bedroom, 2 bath apartment when they arrived at Kibbutz Kabri? Well she still lived in that same apartment. When the kibbutz privatized, back in the early 90’s, they could have moved to a house with some land, but instead they choose to be given a second apartment they could use as a rental. This second apartment, which was right next door to theirs, was rented for years. About 4 years ago, when Aunt Aura was given a live-in home health aide, they decided to not renew the lease and use it for when family visited. It was remodeled, complete with a door to join the two apartments. That’s where Teddy and I stayed.

Since Aunt Aura was a lifetime member of the kibbutz, she was taken care of completely. All her doctor, hospital and dental needs were taken care of at no cost to her, including her live-in home health aide. Jane helped her with her personal needs, as well as did all her cooking, cleaning, and taking her laundry to the central laundromat, where they washed and folded everything. Teddy and I actually took advantage of it and sent our dirty laundry Friday. It was ready for pick-up first thing Saturday morning. Very convenient!

I slept well and was up by about 7:30am and immediately went to greet Aunt Aura. Teddy was already up and they were enjoying breakfast. I made myself a cup of coffee and visiting began! She was so happy to see me! She held my face in her hands and said “Kelly dear, I can’t believe you are finally here!”

Aunt Aura treated us to lunch at her favorite restaurant, Adelina. Her home health aide, Jane (which gets a bit confusing since she also has a daughter Jane) drove her in her golf cart while Teddy and I walked. It was a delicious lunch of fresh humus, ribs, and salad.

On the way back, Teddy and I stopped at the small local grocer to pick up a few things for the week. Aside from the difference in language, it reminded me of a small local grocer we would go into when I was a child, Burlews. Aunt Aura had laid down for a nap when we got back, so Teddy said “Let’s go for a ride!”

Where we went was right up to the Lebanese border, where Teddy took my picture in front of a tourist spot.

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On the way back, we stopped at a beach where Teddy would go sometimes, to watch the sun setting over the Mediterranean Sea. With shops, a restaurant, cabana’s and umbrella’s, it was clearly a popular summer destination, but in January it was deserted.

Tuesday we visited in the morning and in the afternoon, we went to Mazra, an Arab market, but it was a department store. There were all kinds of things, groceries, kitchen appliances, plates, towels, etc, home decor, all kinds of things. Most items had labels in Hebrew and Arabic, neither of which I could read, but it was fun anyway. I thought I would feel nervous, but I didn’t.

Wednesday was our big day trip outing to Jerusalem. We were up and on our way early, as it was a 2 hours each way trip. Our first stop was the Old City of Jerusalem, where the Wailing Wall is. I learned that Wailing Wall is what Christians and Westerners call it, but Jews refer to it as the Western Wall, while in Islam it is called the Buraq Wall.

Below are scenes from our drive to Jerusalem

Teddy and I had prepared our requests to G-d on small pieces of paper and folded them tightly so we could place them in small cracks in the wall. Teddy showed me proper etiquette, and after a few minutes, I backed up away from the wall about 10 steps before turning around. I stood at the back just taking it all in. Teddy joined me after a few minutes and we walked back to visit the shops in the market area we had walked through quickly on the way in. We walked around the old city. Teddy had a favorite place she liked to buy decorative plates and bowls and that was one of our stops. I decided to get myself a bowl as a memento of my trip. While waiting for Teddy to finish I went to the shop across the way and got myself a leather backpack bag.

Next, we made our way to Mahane Yehuda Market. When I thought about what going to a market in Jerusalem would be like, this was it. So many shops with such a variety of things for sale. It was easy to get confused about which way to go next, so I was glad Teddy knew where she was going. We had lunch there, delicious Burekas, which is a pastry type thing with different fillings offered. I opted for cheese filled. Twas yummy! I also got the best Chai tea latte of my life – I wanted to bring the guy home to make it for me every day! So good!

Thursday we went to Merkaza, another Arab market. It was quite large with lots of different items for sale, similar to Mazra. We also stopped at a place to get some fabulous desserts. I got 2 boxes, one of pastries and one cookies. They were so good! Thankfully they shrunk-wrapped them for me for the plane, or they may have not made it back!

Friday morning, Aunt Aura asked Teddy where were we going today? Teddy said she didn’t know yet, so Aunt Aura suggested we go to the Old City Akko. Teddy thought that sounded like a great idea, so after lunch, while Aunt Aura napped, away we went. The town is right on the water, where there is a large marina full of boats. I was on the hunt for dresses for my granddaughters and there were a lot of shops that offered dresses for sale. We finally found the perfect ones, but the lady didn’t take credit cards, so we needed to find an ATM. Teddy also picked up a few more things to bring home with her. For lunch, we stopped in at one of Teddy’s favorite places to get humus. It’s all they make; except the warm pita bread they serve with it. There was a line out front (always a good sign) but it moved quickly and next thing you know, we are eating the most amazing homemade humus I’ve ever had! Sadly, I didn’t get a pic of it, I just didn’t think of it until after it was gone, which didn’t take long!

Saturday was our last day, and it wasn’t even a full one since we needed to leave about 3pm. Teddy had a quick stop she wanted to make, and she was concerned about traffic getting to TelAviv. While Teddy packed her bags, I had Jane snap a few pictures of Aunt Aura and me.

During the week, we had taken a couple of walks around the Kibbutz so Teddy could tell me about her childhood home.

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We returned the car and made our way to drop off Teddy’s checked bags. We made it through security with no issue except the lines were long. Teddy and I talked about what a wonderful trip it was and how happy Aunt Aura had been to see the both of us!

By the time we boarded our flight, we were both so tired we were asleep before the safety briefing. We slept through the dinner service. I woke up before Teddy and took a walk around the plane, and I found some snacks. We both slept on/off and watched movies and chatted the rest of the flight, which was LONG – about 11 1/2 hours. There was a bit of turbulence but nothing too serious.

We landed in JFK and exchanged our hugs and “see you later!” Teddy didn’t need to change terminals but I did, so she walked me to the train and away I went to find my gate.

I decided to have a bagel when I got to Terminal 4, since it is well known that is almost impossible to get a good bagel outside of the northeast. It was fresh-baked warm and the best bagel I had in a long time! I waited in line a second time to get a dunkin donut coffee, which was also so good, especially after drinking instant for a week!

I settled in on my flight back to San Antonio and dozed on/off until it landed. Bill found me at the curb and just like that – I was home!

What I want to say about my trip, other than sharing the details above, is the lesson I learned, which is DON’T WAIT! My beloved Aunt Aura lived a short 8 weeks after I returned home. 8 weeks. I almost missed her. The last time I saw her before this trip was in GA back in the fall of 2014, at Teddy’s son’s Bar Mitzvah. She told me then that was her last trip to the USA because it was just too much for her. She had said similar things in the past, but then she would come again. This time, I believed her that she meant it, but since she had changed her mind before, I held out hope. Two years later, her grandson Adam made his Bar Mitzvah in NY and she didn’t come. It was then I knew 100% she was not coming back and my only option to see her again was to go to Israel.

We would video chat every so often and I could see she was getting tired. She had emphysema and sometimes struggled to get air. It was so hard to see her like that. She was so full of life, and she lived it on her terms. She was so brave, to pick up and leave her home and family for a foreign land, a place she had never even visited before. Some of you might think it was because she was religious, but I can tell you she was not. They observed the high holidays, Yom Kippur, Rosh Hashanah, and even a few of the lesser holidays, but they were not Orthodox or kosher.

It’s hard to put into words exactly what Aunt Aura meant to me, but she was a very special lady and I miss her terribly. I am so happy that I got to go see her one last time. I do regret not going sooner, back in at a time when she could have accompanied Teddy and I on our walks around her beloved kibbutz and on our trips to the markets. I remember asking her many times over the years, especially once her daughters had all come to the states and after Uncle Arnold passed away, why doesn’t she come permanently back to the states? Her daughters would have cared for her, but she wouldn’t leave the land that had become her home. Not even when bombs were dropped nearby, causing her to have to spend several days in the shelter room in her apartment. When they first moved there, they would have to go to the community shelters, but at some point, each apartment had reinforcements added to create a bomb shelter room. The room I slept in was actually a bomb shelter room, with heavy metal shutters that were closed when the sirens went off. Thank goodness things had been relatively calm there, and there were no sirens going off while I was there.

Last Time: Back in TX

Next Time: Heading North

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