Things That Come in Three’s – John’s Passing…

I left off last time, returning home from Freya’s year one doctor check-up.

When we got inside, we found Bill very upset. While we were out, he had called to talk to his brother, John. John’s partner Susan had answered the phone and when she attempted to wake John from what she thought was a nap, she was unable to do so. She hung up to call 911.

We waited a few more minutes, and then I texted Susan. A short time after (although seemed like an eternity) she texted back and said to call on the house phone. We all immediately knew that (calling the house instead of her cell) couldn’t be good news. John had passed away.

My initial shock was replaced with a sense of urgency – we needed to get to NJ! Not getting an answer on the phone, Bill and Michelle left to go to Enterprise, with the intention of renting a car. While they were gone, I quickly packed all our stuff to take with us. Turned out we needed to get the car in Johnstown, as Somerset didn’t have anything available. Michelle took us and we said our “see you later’s.” It took us about five hours to make the 300-mile trip. (sure can make better time with just a car!)

The week following was filled with sorrow and reminiscing. Family flew/drove.took a train in, friends dropped by.

I might mention that this was the week that all hell broke loose in NJ regarding the coronavirus. We weren’t even sure people would come to the funeral, but it ended up being standing room only. I really shouldn’t be surprised by this, as John had a lot of friends. He was the kind of guy who arranged a once a month breakfast for the guys he worked with and had an annual friend and family picnic so we could gather and catch up with one another. He was the kind of man that, without hesitation, raised another man’s children. He had become the keeper of most family keepsakes.

Bill and I flew back to TX, after seriously considering driving the rental car back. Ultimately, after the stress of the previous week, we couldn’t face 1900 miles in the small rental car, meaning lots of meals out, hotels, etc.

It’s been a rough 2020 for us so far, first Baby S, then Simba, and then John. COVID19 has not helped. I don’t know the reason why “they” say death comes in 3’s but it does seem to hold true. We have truly experienced some of the lowest of lows this year.

Some time has gone by since then. Grief still overwhelms. John was only 54 years old. He did have a heart condition, which is being blamed for him leaving us so young. Like my husband, I don’t remember a time when I didn’t know John, he was truly my brother from another Mother. Bill was only 12 months older than his brother, sandwiched in between and an older and a younger sister. Their Mom would dress them like twins when they were young enough to not protest. To give you an idea of how they were as kids, their Dad gave them nicknames – Bill’s was Crash and John’s was Trouble. As adults, Bill and John were very close, not always agreeing on everything, but they each held a deep love and respect for the other.

one of the rare non-twinsy pic of Bill and John
Bill and my wedding day – John was our best man
our BFF Michaels’ wedding day
Bill, Barbara (John’s wife, who passed away in 2003) and John

They would play pranks on one another. One of the more “famous” pranks was when we (Bill, me, Michelle, Billy, John, and Candis) were out to dinner at a buffet. John left the table, and while he was gone, Bill added most of the contents of the salt shaker into John’s freshly filled coffee mug. He came back to the table to our stifled laughs and continued the conversation while adding sugar and creamer to his coffee. He lifted it to his mouth and – well – you can just imagine. Amazingly, he didn’t spit it out but instead gagged on it and swallowed it. Our over-the-top laughing out loud caused the whole restaurant to stop what their own conversations to look at us. Bill slept with one eye open for quite a while after that!

John, sister Mary, niece Angela and Bill
John, Susan (John’s partner), me and Bill on a trip to DC
John and his two step-daughters, Laryssa and Candis

The hole left by John’s passing is deep. He left too young. He will always be in our hearts and always missed.

John and Susan
John and his grandson, Hunter
Johns most current line-up of classic cars,

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27 thoughts on “Things That Come in Three’s – John’s Passing…

  1. So very sorry to hear of your brothers passing Bill. Our condolences to family and friends.

  2. I am so sorry for your loss. There is never a good time, but now seems worse than ever. Sending comfort your way .

  3. We’re so sorry for your untimely loss. We sure feel your pain for sure. Life has been rough in 2020.

  4. So sorry for your loss, that’s way to young to lose a friend, best man, a brother. A very well presented tribute to John

  5. So sorry for all your losses. 2020 has not been a good year for most but you and Bill have had it really hard. May the rest of the year be much better for the two of you. Take care. Hugs

  6. Sorry for your loss guys, you’re in our hearts. BTW I must have missed something, I thought you were in PA. with your rig, not TX.

    1. Thanks Eric. We are currently in PA, This happened back in March. We had flown up for Freya’s birthday from TX.

  7. I’m so, so sorry for yours and Bill’s loss, Kelly. What a shock to lose someone so young and so unexpectedly. Reminds us to hold loved ones close and to stay in touch with those we can’t hold. A lovely tribute to a good man.

  8. A beautiful tribute to your brother. I often think Billy Joel was right, “only the good die young.” Our sympathies to Bill and your family. May happy memories comfort you.

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